Be Here
There are moments in life, where you sit back and take it all in. Of all the moments, decisions, coincidences, they have led you Here. Led you to Now.
I admittedly have these moments frequently.
Sitting on the couch of a dear friend, looking at all the faces around and thinking of all the lifetimes that brought our paths to intertwine. Growing up in a small town, you know everyone. And, if you don’t know them, you know someone who does. There’s a theory, six degrees of separation. Created by Frigyes Karinthy, the theory follows the logic of you are never more than six introductions away from another person. He presented it within the context of a game played in a short, fictitious story. His pathway of thought was popularized in 1990 with the debut of the play Six Degrees of Separation. In the play, there is a monologue. The pivotal, title-bearing moment. It goes as followed:
“I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six other people. Six degrees of separation. Between us and everybody else on this planet. The president of the United States. A gondolier in Venice. Fill in the names. I find that
A) tremendously comforting that we’re so close and
B) like Chinese water that we’re so close.
Because you have to find the right six people to make the connection… It’s a profound thought… How every person is a new door, opening up into other worlds. Six degrees of separation between me and everyone else on this planet. But to find the right six people.”
Here, the six degrees is diminished to something closer to… two. I’ve been both knowing and unknowingly connected to these people my entire life. And yet, Here we are. All in the same room. Within the same moment. And I am filled to the brim with the warmth of gratitude, saying to myself (in true Vonnegut fashion), “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” It’s a warmth that burns so deeply I wish I could press pause. And remain in that moment forever,
But alas, time doesn’t seem to work that way.
Nothing does.
I’ll be the first to tell you, I never thought my life to look the way it does. Depending on at what age you would have asked me, I’d be married or a forensic anthropologist or a mom or happily living alone by Now. No matter the version you inquired, they all agreed on one thing:
It wouldn’t be here.
I wouldn’t Ever end up Back here.
And yet, Here I am. As discussed in blogs of previous, I’ve realized it’s not all that bad.
I won’t bore you the redundancy, but I described it as the mundane break I so desperately needed.
After years of a rollercoaster,
I had slowness.
However, in the time since writing that, I’ve
gotten a new job,
fallen in love,
fallen out of love,
totaled my car,
made new friends,
lost some along the way,
and every single thing you can imagine between.
Mundane is, in fact, the Last word I would use to describe my Here, Now.
As we have entered into a new year, of course there were goals to be made. This year, I approached within the framework of intentions, rather. I awoke on January 1st and dressed in my attire of gym, sat on the couch of among my dearest friends, and wrote every thought I bore. The last words I wrote on that dull yellow sticky note were
Live in the present, intentionally. Be Here, Now.
And a week later, I did it. Well, I did something.
In my final weekend before returning to work, I decided to say yes… to everything. And I mean Everything.
From Thursday to Sunday, I was a yes (wo)man.
I went to every plan.
Said every thing.
Took shots of all kinds, eve and morn.
And, as I did my weekly reflection on the final morning, I found that I… didn’t regret one moment.
Not one.
I said yes In the moments.
And I didn’t bear an ounce of regret after.
Now, the moral isn’t to say that in order to find yourself in the present you have to say yes to everything. Boundaries are of course important and no is a word to be treasured.
But, I came to the realization that I wasn’t thinking.
I wasn’t anxiously mulling over my next decision. I just, did. And in that, I thrived.
Living in the moment isn’t doing all of the big things. It’s not making a string of sabotaging decisions with no regards for the possible repercussions.
But it’s Just. Doing.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you should live for the present with considerations of the future,
Not the other way around.
Because there is more time beyond. there are more pictures to take and there are more memories to be made.
And I think the same goes for all the moments. I’ve been listening to a song recently. It’s one of those that you know as soon as you hear it, but you’ve never thought to go out of your way to listen to it. But One night, within the saloon walls, it began playing. I immediately start singing along to the lyrics I’ve known since I was 12 years old and look to one of my dearest friends and mouth “I LOVE THIS SONG!” and she tells me she played it for knowing another member’s enjoyment
fun.’s Carry On.
In that moment, I started paying attention to the words I was singing in our bar (a little farther off than) off 75. And it hit me.
I am Here.
Now.
and there truly wasn’t another place i’d rather be.
There Isn’t another place I’d rather be Than Here.
It’s not always going to be like this.
It can be a hard pill to swallow or an IV of relief. For me… there’s an ominous loom. Could it be due to the unknowns of what is to come? Or, perhaps, all that I do know is coming.
Whichever way the pendulum swings, I want to experience it all.
I want to hold on. I want to Experience every single moment I am offered. Because the truth is, you really don’t know what is around the corner. You can plan and make backup plans all you want, But at the end of the day,
you are not God.
Whatever that means to you,
I mean there are more things out of your control at any given moment than are.
If you are so focused on all that has happened to you or all that Could happen to you, you miss out on everything that’s happening right now.
Past and Future exist not. For the past has passed. And the future is nothing more than a perpetual pursuit; for once you arrive, it becomes the present. And that is Now. That is where the experience of life is.
So, you can sit in the mud of all your regret or run the race you’ll never win.
Or you can be Here, amidst the cautious recklessness of the present.
Take the shot.
Go do the thing by yourself.
Join that gym.
Text your ex when you’re bored.
Say that thing you’ve been thinking.
Make the move.
Act on the harmless impulses that make it all a little more exciting.
Because everything works out as it is meant. Even a shit show gets applause every once in awhile.
All we can do is Carry On and
Be Here, Now.
Whether it falls on the end of joy or the end of pain within the spectrum of experience, it Won’t always be like this. Everything comes to an end, just as it should. And a new beginning will be born of it.
So for all of the endings, all of the beginnings, and the Now of between,
be Here,
Now.